Poetry Corner – How to keep your mascara on

Hey, it’s Katherine! This is one of my edited poems from the Writer’s House Course I went on in October. If you would like me to go through the editing process for this poem then leave me a comment. This particular poem was an exercise in list ‘How-to’ poems inspired by Dean Atta’s How to be a poet. I hope you enjoy x

  1. Always wear 2-inch heels
  2. Get married at 23
  3. Have 2.5 children
  4. Have a dog and a cat
  5. Lie to your husband. Pretend that work was only fine. That it was the traffic, not your conversation with your boss that made you late
  6. Wear expensive perfume
  7. Always have lipstick in your purse
  8. Tell yourself that life is fine
  9. Watch the news every day at 6 and pass comment about the state of the country
  10. Keep faking your orgasms
  11. Have a tidy house
  12. Lie about your overtime
  13. Make birthday cakes yourself
  14. Have an organised Wardrobe
  15. Make sure to throw the bottles out when no on else is in
  16. Pretend that nothing happened on the business trip
  17. Cry when your husband Shouts
  18. Remind yourself that life is fine
  19. Watch your wedding video again, again, again.
  20. Cry each time
  21. Take custody of the children
  22. Buy presents in John Lewis
  23. Never let your hair get in your face
  24. Remember the smell of your hus- EX-Husband’s aftershave
  25. Buy a bottle to remember him by
  26. Quit your job
  27. Change your number
  28. Go and live with your mother
  29. Breathe
  30. Never wash whites with darks
  31. Pretend that life is good now
  32. That it all meant something
  33. It will feel alright again, in the end

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